A Banner Day
Three days ago I somehow managed to find the time to gather my three netflix movies that have been sitting on my dresser for two months, to walk across my entire 10 ft expanse of livingroom, to then muster up the strength to bend myself in half, and push those three netflix packages 3 inches out of my mailslot for the mailman to pick up.
It has officially taken me 60 days to fit that into my schedule. I'm pretty busy watching my four stations through the snow on my TV and not writing.
Anyway, so when I got home today three NEW movies sat on my livingroom floor. Apparently, the folks at Netflix are not as busy as I am.
Receiving new Netflix is like getting presents from someone I don't know because I never remember what I have asked them to send me. It is always a big surprise when I tear open that little flat red package. Will it be a documentary about John Kerry that will aggravate me because I didn't really mean for them to send that to me and I was just kidding? Will it be a bad foreign film that isn't necessarily good just because it has subtitles? Will it be something a friend recommended and now I'm going to have to end the friendship because the movie sucked so hard?
Today I cracked them all open and tossed them on my couch and was presented with an intruiging triumvirate: Fat Girl, The Barbarian Invasions, and The Butterfly. Which one would be my date for the evening?
Seeing that I have my period, Fat Girl seemed most appropriate so I popped that in without reading the little netflix synposis.
I have got to tell you. Fat Girl was one of the most disturbing movies that I have encountered in my entire life. It is the sort of movie that sucks you in and then knocks you sideways and ends with a "TAKE THAT!" karate chop to the soul. "THAT's what you get for having no life and watching movies all the time. You get THIS. HAPPY NOW? Now maybe you'll leave the house once in a while. There's more where this came from."
After watching that movie I now wish I had a woobie blanket and a few deadbolt locks.
I am not even going to tell you what it is about other than yes, it has a fat girl in it. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
If you have not seen it, it will mess with your world. Don't read about it. Don't google it. Just pop it into your netflix want list, let it arrive, shove it into the DVD player, and watch it.
And don't come crying to me afterwards because I warned you.
It has officially taken me 60 days to fit that into my schedule. I'm pretty busy watching my four stations through the snow on my TV and not writing.
Anyway, so when I got home today three NEW movies sat on my livingroom floor. Apparently, the folks at Netflix are not as busy as I am.
Receiving new Netflix is like getting presents from someone I don't know because I never remember what I have asked them to send me. It is always a big surprise when I tear open that little flat red package. Will it be a documentary about John Kerry that will aggravate me because I didn't really mean for them to send that to me and I was just kidding? Will it be a bad foreign film that isn't necessarily good just because it has subtitles? Will it be something a friend recommended and now I'm going to have to end the friendship because the movie sucked so hard?
Today I cracked them all open and tossed them on my couch and was presented with an intruiging triumvirate: Fat Girl, The Barbarian Invasions, and The Butterfly. Which one would be my date for the evening?
Seeing that I have my period, Fat Girl seemed most appropriate so I popped that in without reading the little netflix synposis.
I have got to tell you. Fat Girl was one of the most disturbing movies that I have encountered in my entire life. It is the sort of movie that sucks you in and then knocks you sideways and ends with a "TAKE THAT!" karate chop to the soul. "THAT's what you get for having no life and watching movies all the time. You get THIS. HAPPY NOW? Now maybe you'll leave the house once in a while. There's more where this came from."
After watching that movie I now wish I had a woobie blanket and a few deadbolt locks.
I am not even going to tell you what it is about other than yes, it has a fat girl in it. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
If you have not seen it, it will mess with your world. Don't read about it. Don't google it. Just pop it into your netflix want list, let it arrive, shove it into the DVD player, and watch it.
And don't come crying to me afterwards because I warned you.
posted by Tara Callahan at 9:33 PM
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